she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
