I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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