My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
