i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
