Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
