let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
