Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
