Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize