Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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