Don't you send me to vm
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
