you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
