the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I didn't notice because vodka
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
