I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she woke up with a sticky ear
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize