So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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