3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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