so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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