When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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