I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
