I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
