So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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