Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
