New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
