Already got asked if we're dating
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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