Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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