I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize