He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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