So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
