I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's blow job season.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
