according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
