well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
