last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
whose parrot is this?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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