I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
