I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
