omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
