im drinking this country out of the recession.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
