she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
