I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
