oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
