mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
