first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
