Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
