writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
