He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize