4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
