i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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