Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
