I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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