Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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