how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
