I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
