that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
