i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
