we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
