Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
nutella sex= disaster
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
