Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I pour the whiskey from now on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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