At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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