I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
