I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
