That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize