I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
