Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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